等天地梅花开

So you know (as you might) that feeling I've explained before, the one I call bogginess?

I've got to the stage in which I'm definitely boggy; my mind is 80-90% filled with the content I consume. Unfortunately, this is the stage that feels most uncomfortable. It feels rather like writers' block, but for the reader (except in this case I'm watching, as opposed to reading - but no matter, the metaphor will hold).

My head is largely filled with what I've been watching with zeal, but all of a sudden I've hit a block. I took a step back, thinking I would maybe check Facebook, check Tumblr - but when I went back to my paused video I couldn't bring myself to hit play. I'm torn between wanting to continue watching and wanting to give my brain a little time to absorb (and quite possibly recalibrate, if I may be so honest).

I'm aware that I'm writing in order to calm my mind; to settle the buzz. Oddly, I'm noticing the annoying indecisiveness and capriciousness that shows in my writing - don't you think I use the words "rather" and "somewhat" a little too often? I do. It sounds like the speech of someone who hesitates to commit to any one adjective or verb, trying to carefully pull punches. The writing of a coward. But it's proving quite difficult to write decisively; it takes so much more conscious effort than writing like a coward, and even then I find myself slipping up here and there. How strange.

Really, now. Watch as I spin in circles, never quite reaching the point (if there was one in the first place), trying to assuage the bogginess in my head. It's possibly more entertaining than watching paint dry, though I would hazard less so than watching a monkey dance. Should I bid you adieu, or should I phrase my salutations in a language I actually understand?