Have you met Oswald?

Everyone meets Oswald sooner or later.

No one likes Oswald, but Oswald just can't get enough of us. He's the worst of uninvited guests: dirty, conspicuous, obscenely unattractive and disturbingly intrusive into your personal space. Some people manage to keep clearer of Oswald than others, though - they're probably born with it.

Oswald is a bit of a paedophile. You'll notice that it is mostly young, pubescent people that suffer from Oswald's unwelcome affections. Also, Oswald is bisexual. It doesn't matter what gender you are, Oswald will come after you anyway. And neither does it matter if you're ugly or beautiful - when Oswald's on you, none of that will matter. Oswald leaves a mark on you that can never be washed off, no matter now hard you scrub; the faces of those who have been ravaged by Oswald are never quite the same.

There are many different ways to deal with Oswald. Some people force him off (squeezing), some use anti-Oswald products (cleansers and clearing creams), others ignore him and pray that he'll go away in time.

Personally, I favour the Anything Goes method. This method is simple: I do whatever takes my fancy whenever it feels right. No obligations, rules or authority. The problem is, my skin, not being the most intelligent of my organs, tends to interpret "Anything Goes" as the short form of "Anything And Everything Comes But Nothing Ever Goes". As a result, Oswald and his whole brood (including his great-great-great-niece a dozen times removed) have been camping out on my face for quite a while now.

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This post is so pointless and shallow, it's a pancake.