I love Winter a little too much. So much, in fact, that I have frequently been spending late nights with her. This would have been fine, had my circadian clock not adjusted to this change of pace so efficiently...
I now get sleepy as the sun rises, and today I woke up just a few hours before sunset.
Oh, Winter. If only I could control myself better. Plants Vs Zombies just isn't worth the havoc this change is wreaking in my daily life.
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As an aside... I find it strange that I have so many little things I want to say, to the point where I post different entries into three different journals at about the same time. Somehow, having everything typed out like this brings a kind of relief - like I've made a little note to myself, so that I will be able to remember these thoughts. I want to read all this again when I'm much older, just to recall the kinds of things I was thinking. I've realised that this is why I keep writing these random posts even if no one reads them - I write them to myself, for myself. I suppose that's why my writing is so self-absorbed.
So, to the future me, hello. You wrote this when you were eighteen because you didn't want to forget me.
Now, I may have said this before, but I hope you're doing well and you're happy - because I want to be. It feels like there's a lot going on within me right now, but I don't really know what. I wonder if you do. I'm sorry that I write so often to you - but I can't help it. I think you understand. I think you'll appreciate the emotional relief you experienced when you were me. It's too bad you can't write to me, though.
It's funny, ne? People usually talk to someone they're close to (or, in some pathetic cases, write to an agony aunt) when they aren't feeling happy, but I write to you. Well, the justification is that you know me the best, and you understand the best - though sometimes I wonder if you think of me as a mere child. Please don't. I don't want to change so much in the future to the point where I will see my past self as a completely separate being, or even a stranger. You came to be because I was. Remember that, for my sake - because I don't want to disappear.
I think it's strange that I can write to you so much when I don't know anything about you. I can only hope that I'm writing to someone who feels as I feel about the important things in life and who loves the people I do. After all, I want to be the kind of person who smiles upon receiving a message from the past.
Promise me, won't you?
That you will smile when you see all the messages I'm leaving you, and remember how it felt to be me - and that you will name your retirement-home cat Ringo. Mind you, don't ever forget what Ringo means. Forgetting what Ringo means is forgetting your entire youth. Don't you dare forget.
-me.
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Haha. My aside turned out so long it became the main body of the post.
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